High roller

– 8:19 pm


You’re currently at your grandparent’s down the road. Tonight marks the first time you’ve spent the night there in over a week. Your grandmother Julia has been bedridden since her injury. She picked you up wrong and has been in pain ever since.

First, we tried a few sessions with Bruno which didn’t help. In fact, things got much worse pretty quickly. She has a cyst in her spine which twisted to sit on a nerve when she picked you up. A few days later, post-physio with Bruno, Valerie took her into A&E. She was given some meds and an MRI scheduled. She had it on Friday I believe so we’re just waiting for someone to tell us what it all means. In parallel, we’ll look for private doctors specialising in spine issues orthopedists. There’s a bottomless list your grandad will sieve through. We’ll reach out as a backup while we wait on the NHS, who have been great so far.

You’re so big now. Sitting up, happy to entertain yourself with your toys, talking away… This in particular makes me very happy. So far, you’re not this super attention-seeking child. Earlier this evening when I put you on the floor, you were happy just rolling around, picking things up along the way. You only ‘reached out’ when you were hungry. After the bottle, you were happy back on the floor going about your business. Class. I love that.


We have to be very careful now leaving you on high surfaces, even for a split second, especially when changing your diaper. You can sit up from a back-lying supine position. And you’re strong enough to resist any form of clothing. Your mother now dresses you on the bed. I tend to trick you with distractions until you are fully clothed. But much sooner than later, we’ll all be doing it on the floor. You can’t fall off that. I have nightmares about taking you to A&E. I’ve played out multiple reasons we’ve had to take you in. Not fun.

You are also a great eater now. Solids I mean. You open wide when a spoon is approaching. Your mother gives me the credit for that. I was persistent in tricking you to eat and it’s somehow become a habit. So now we get to see your lower front two teeth and the upper two shooting out effortlessly. Yesterday, she spent the evening making you Michelin-grade food which has been carefully partitioned and frozen, one for each day. The recipes are pretty fucking good. I would eat that. Totally. So I’m not a teeny bit surprised at your attitude to food. It’s all so super healthy as well, as you can imagine. It’s Liza we’re talking about. Not that you’d eaten anything less on my watch.

Advanced 8 month old baby

Unsurprisingly, you’re getting into books. That’s not from me. And it’s definitely not my doing, nor is it my influence. That’s your mother’s side. You have a teacher for a grandmother and a book lover for a mother.

This house would burn down in record time if there was ever a fire. That’s how many books we have, in every. single. corner.


It’s 9:01 pm. I’m going to listen to some of the music we mixed on Friday. Liza’s taking a bath upstairs. She just came back from Rozalia’s hen do. We might start a new TV show later (even though it’s most likely she’ll probably just go to bed and read a book to sleep).