The mother that she is…

Posted on March 19, 2023March 19, 2023 by Kilian Ateh

– 2:55 pm

I got in not too long ago (from football). The pitch was horrendous. I’m surprised the ref allowed the game to be played given how bad the grounds were – mud, puddles, the perfect conditions for a serious injury. Thankfully there were none. I played for less than ten minutes and strolled around the entire time, trying to do as little as possible, happily. You could barely move (let alone run) given how much mud got stuck under your boots. Also, it was Jimmie’s first game back since his injury. He scored with his first touch of the ball. You can imagine how happy we were to witness that. We won the game 10-2.

You and your mother are out meeting “Kostia and fam” as she put it. In fact, she literally just sent a photo via Whatsapp.

Speaking of your mother, she’s an incredible person. She really is. If there’s one person you should be most grateful for, she is that person. She puts you above and beyond all else. You should tell her how much you love her every chance you get, including today which is Mother’s Day. She deserves it and unlike me, needs to hear it said. I’m more of a, “if you love me, show me, pay a bill or pick up the hoover, save the words”. But she on the other hand is content with a hug and hearing the words uttered sincerely. Those are her love languages.

We had a great few days in Tenerife, caught a bit of sun and had some exquisite food. M.B. and Kabuki were different but equally delectable.

We couldn’t believe how much you’d changed when we got back. It certainly looked like you’d grown years in three days. I wonder if I’d recognise you if I spent a week away.

Since then, you’ve started sitting up and stringing more syllables together, da-da, ba-ba etc. But not yet mama. I hope that’s the first meaningful word you direct at anyone. It would mean the world to her. Besides, I don’t need you to say “papa” to know I’m your dad.

Interestingly, your grandad thinks even though you can’t say these words, you recognise who papa and mama are and can link the word to the person. While he was babysitting you yesterday evening, you went off on one and couldn’t be consoled. Liza and her mum went to see a ballet in Covent Garden. He reports that he told you “we’re going to see papa” and that calmed you down until he eventually brought you over. I make nothing of it. Everyone thinks you’re really smart (for your age). In comparison to the other kids from the NCT group, it’s clear you’re more developed but I’m just happy for you to be a child and have no impositions to make.

You. Always.

Posted on March 25, 2023March 25, 2023 by Kilian Ateh

– 8:14 am

You’re currently at your grandparents down the road where you spent the night. As always, I’m curious how you slept. Your mother and I have to take shifts when you sleep at ours (which is most of the time). She does the first half and when you inevitably wake up in the middle of the night, she brings you down to me for the second half. It’s currently the only logical way to give either of us some sleep given we both have to work. Anywho…

The other day, Vanessa offered a mother’s card when I went round to move her sofa. The text was funny so I cheerfully accepted. I only gave it to your mother yesterday. I had an idea of how to personalise it but struggled to find what I needed for it. That’s until yesterday morning when you and I were hanging out. In the end, I used blue UV glow paint which I’d purchased as part of an idea for a video shoot. I smeared some under your foot and left a step on the card.

If you read my last post, you probably know how Liza felt about it. This is her type shit. So she loved it. She thought it was hilarious. You did well.

In other news, you’re doing well with solids. Last night, your mother made you a Scandi recipe of salmon, yoghurt, dill and I don’t know what else. You had no complaints when I fed it to you. Your face was even brighter sucking down the mango and papaya. Liza sent me a photo of you from your grandparents “devouring” corn on the cob. Enjoy lad. Enjoy.

8 months in

Posted on April 7, 2023April 7, 2023 by Kilian Ateh

– 10:49 am

Unsurprisingly, your grandad messaged me on the day to extend his love and greetings to the family. ~~I’m~~ We’re working on uniting you guys IRL. More on that soon.

As always we got some Crosstowns to mark the occasion.

At eight months, the most noticeable change is your sleeping habits. It’s the loudest because it affects us all in a major way. If you sleep better, we all sleep (and function) better. And thankfully, this past week, you’ve been on a run of solid 4-5 hour blocks of night sleep. We think it’s because the teething has eased up now that you have two big Bugs Bunny ones on your front lower jaw. So you are currently pain-free.

Nevertheless, your mother and I still take shifts even though you are nowhere near as troublesome or fidgety. She prefers the first half and I the second so it works out without a haggle.

Trying to distract you while your mother trims your nails

I’m going to use this checklist as a reference for what you’re up to these days (development-wise). Right. Solids. You’re still not big on those. Your mother makes all this healthy Michelin star shit and you’re like ‘Meh!’ after a teaspoon. I hope she doesn’t lose heart. But you currently have no interest unless it’s porridge or fruits i.e. sweet things. In your defence, I hated most veggies when I was younger so it’s probably not your fault.

The other day I tossed you an empty Aptamil container and it looked like you were crawling for it. So that seems to be on the horizon. You still much prefer handheld walking a lot more though so it’s most probable that you’ll skip the whole ‘on all fours’ thing. Just like your mum when she was your age. You’re so happy when walking.

I found a site that curates toys for kids based on their age group. We received the latest box yesterday. I have to admit, you are super engaged with these Montessori-style toys. It’s very impressive. We started you on a pack a month older than you are as you seem quite ahead in most aspects of the pack your age.

One sec, someone just rang the bell. I think it’s Amazon. Brb…

This morning I started moving delicate household items from shelves you can reach. Our house is not very child friendly at the moment. Lol. Nothing’s hinged and most units can be moved around quite freely. So I proposed and your mother agreed to stand one of the IKEA units and create a little toy section for you. It’s where we normally sit you anyway so the only change is these are all your books and toys.

Liza and I are also doing a deep clean to rid of anything you’ve outgrown (so this place doesn’t become a cemetery). There are two bin bags of things headed for the charity shop next to me. Hopefully, they make another infant happy.

Let’s see… I think that’s it. You’re currently out with Liza and her mum taking in the sun and nature (at Wisley Gardens). I have a bit to do here at home. We’ll talk soon.

High roller

Posted on April 23, 2023April 23, 2023 by Kilian Ateh

– 8:19 pm

You’re currently at your grandparent’s down the road. Tonight marks the first time you’ve spent the night there in over a week. Your grandmother Julia has been bedridden since her injury. She picked you up wrong and has been in pain ever since.

First, we tried a few sessions with Bruno which didn’t help. In fact, things got much worse pretty quickly. She has a cyst in her spine which twisted to sit on a nerve when she picked you up. A few days later, post-physio with Bruno, Valerie took her into A&E. She was given some meds and an MRI scheduled. She had it on Friday I believe so we’re just waiting for someone to tell us what it all means. In parallel, we’ll look for private ~~doctors specialising in spine issues~~ orthopedists. There’s a bottomless list your grandad will sieve through. We’ll reach out as a backup while we wait on the NHS, who have been great so far.

You’re so big now. Sitting up, happy to entertain yourself with your toys, talking away… This in particular makes me very happy. So far, you’re not this super attention-seeking child. Earlier this evening when I put you on the floor, you were happy just rolling around, picking things up along the way. You only ‘reached out’ when you were hungry. After the bottle, you were happy back on the floor going about your business. Class. I love that.

We have to be very careful now leaving you on high surfaces, even for a split second, especially when changing your diaper. You can sit up from a ~~back-lying~~ supine position. And you’re strong enough to resist any form of clothing. Your mother now dresses you on the bed. I tend to trick you with distractions until you are fully clothed. But much sooner than later, we’ll all be doing it on the floor. You can’t fall off that. I have nightmares about taking you to A&E. I’ve played out multiple reasons we’ve had to take you in. Not fun.

You are also a great eater now. Solids I mean. You open wide when a spoon is approaching. Your mother gives me the credit for that. I was persistent in tricking you to eat and it’s somehow become a habit. So now we get to see your lower front two teeth and the upper two shooting out effortlessly. Yesterday, she spent the evening making you Michelin-grade food which has been carefully partitioned and frozen, one for each day. The recipes are pretty fucking good. I would eat that. Totally. So I’m not a teeny bit surprised at your attitude to food. It’s all so super healthy as well, as you can imagine. It’s Liza we’re talking about. Not that you’d eaten anything less on my watch.

Unsurprisingly, you’re getting into books. That’s not from me. And it’s definitely not my doing, nor is it my influence. That’s your mother’s side. You have a teacher for a grandmother and a book lover for a mother.

This house would burn down in record time if there was ever a fire. That’s how many books we have, in every. single. corner.

It’s 9:01 pm. I’m going to listen to some of the music we mixed on Friday. Liza’s taking a bath upstairs. She just came back from Rozalia’s hen do. We might start a new TV show later (even though it’s most likely she’ll probably just go to bed and read a book to sleep).

The circus

Posted on May 1, 2023May 1, 2023 by Kilian Ateh

– 11:38 am

We’ve had to buy you a playpen. You’re impossible to keep up with now, especially if we have to multitask, which we do. You’re rolling around, ~~crawling~~ creeping at F1 speeds, grabbing and throwing, switching off the heater, pulling stools and cables, dragging baskets… Fucking hell! And you’re not even nine months. So yeah, a playpen. At least so we know where you are between the seconds that go by.

It’s all good fun though. It encourages you to (pull yourself up and) walk. And you love walking. You seem to love it, granted it’s only been a day. But so far, so good. We’re also making a point of not having you in there if you’re having one of your hissy fits. I think this article echoes the same sentiment. It needs to be a happy circus for you.

By the way, I was at football when this arrived yesterday. Your grandad put it together. So it’s him you’ll have to thank for this. Your mother is taking you to meet him shortly for coffee (and to present his way overdue birthday present). She’s upstairs dressing you I believe. I also packed him some leftover ribs from last night. He’ll love it.

Surprise surprise, you’ve outgrown a bunch of your clothes again, in record time. Your mother’s been doing the rounds shopping for outfits. A cap was added to your wardrobe this time. A yellow one. Looks cool. The car seat’s also too small now. So we’ve just bought something else your mother found, which should apparently last for as long as you need one. We’ll see. It’s due tomorrow.

Your grandmother is feeling a lot better. She cooked for the first time in forever yesterday. Valerie took her to the orthopedist as planned. In scenarios like hers, surgeries are ill-advised and not always successful. So the doctor also prescribed meds and physio. We’re back to Bruno basically. Only this time, he’ll have a guide of dos and don’ts from the doctor.

Speaking of Bruno, you seem to not like him very much. It’s tears between you two. Strange. Perhaps it’s the beard. You can imagine how your mother feels about it all. Bruno’s been invaluable to us and she’d very much like for you to get on with him. So would I to be honest. To that, you’re going to attend all her sessions. You just need to see him more often. And hopefully, he’ll just be another guy you’re cool with. You had the same broken relationship with your grandad when they just got here. It upset him very much.

Ah, you have this thing you do… It’s like you’re playing drums, without the sticks or the drums. Air drumming basically, nodding and shaking your head rhythmically, and clapping. You get so happy doing it. It’s as if you’re listening to something we can’t hear. I have no words to describe it. But I do have a video…

What else… Uhm, you’re not skipping meals, we’re still taking shifts with you at night, you’re still happy, chirpy and laughing 99.999% of the time and we have no complaints or expectations of you. You are what you are. The end.

Here we go…

Posted on May 14, 2023May 14, 2023 by Kilian Ateh

– 1:20 pm

Yesterday, out of nowhere, your mother and I noticed you crawling, consistently. I mean it’s hardly out of the blue but previously, you’d start on fours and quickly go into Saving Private Ryan mode, creeping on your belly. So it was rather unexpected. It seems to be a theme though. You start doing new things without warning.

We’re displacing furniture around the house to compensate for how quickly you throw stools on yourself. Well done you. As expected, you’ve become very adventurous, much faster than your friends. But it’s all good. I’m constantly assessing your immediate surroundings to prevent serious injury and happy to let you fall if I’m satisfied you won’t hurt yourself. Liza and I won’t always be there to catch you on your way down. So I’m just preparing you for life.

That said, I’ve also noticed you’re quite good at falling. You don’t just drop like a log of wood. You use your core and hands to brace and catch yourself. It’s rather impressive and I imagine all babies do this. It must be innate.

Monday of the coronation weekend was declared a bank holiday. Your mother planned a trip to Somerset, the land of cider (which I didn’t know until then). I was the designated driver. We stayed at N^o 1 Bruton which was lovely. Our room had a travel cot which you wouldn’t stop running around in, laughing, pulling faces and blabbing. We have no idea why you love this thing. But we bought one from Amazon and installed it at your grandparents. It’s relatively inexpensive and has a very high rating. It’s a win-win for all.

Our stay was predominantly wet but some of the grounds we visited were heavenly and breathtaking. For the most part, I thought we were abroad. The Newt was unbelievable. I can’t imagine what it requires in upkeep. It really is Eden if one exists. You were your usual self but I’m sure you appreciated the clean fresh air. It’s noticeably different.

Lately, you’ve been vigorously scratching your head when you sleep. So forcefully that you wake yourself up. And we know what comes after that… It’s a puzzle we can’t solve. Google isn’t giving me any answers. It doesn’t seem related to teething or the usual symptoms. My initial theory was perhaps you were like me with super sensitive skin, hair (and sleep). If I don’t wash my hair in more than a day, it itches, badly. So much so that I have to wet it. But I have since dismissed that theory because last night I gave you a bath and washed your hair with some fancy shampoo your mother bought. That didn’t help and you were at it all night, pulling and pulling.

The first time I noticed you scratching, we noticed you had a dry scalp. But we washed all that away and regularly oil your head. No change though. We’re hoping it’ll stop just about as quickly as it started. We have no other solutions (though I just thought of asking ChatGPT what it could be).

You’re currently out with your mother and Rozalia somewhere in London. I’m going to catch some sun myself.

This is a picture I took at The Old Pharmacy in Bruton where we had a sumptuous meal.

PS – Here’s what ChatGPT had to say about your hair scratching…

There are several possible reasons why a nine-month-old baby may keep scratching their hair. Here are some of the most common causes:

Dry skin: Dry skin can be itchy and uncomfortable, especially on the scalp. If your baby’s scalp is dry, they may scratch it to try to relieve the itchiness.
Cradle cap: Cradle cap is a common condition that affects many babies. It causes a flaky, scaly rash on the scalp, which can be itchy. If your baby has cradle cap, they may scratch their head to try to relieve the itchiness.
Teething: Teething can cause discomfort and irritability in babies. Some babies may rub or scratch their head as a way to soothe themselves during this uncomfortable time.
Allergies: Babies can develop allergies to a wide range of things, including food, pet dander, and environmental allergens. If your baby is scratching their head a lot, it could be a sign of an allergic reaction.
Infection: In rare cases, a baby may scratch their head due to an infection, such as a fungal infection or lice infestation.

If your baby is scratching their head frequently, it’s a good idea to have them evaluated by a paediatrician. The doctor can help determine the underlying cause of the scratching and recommend appropriate treatment.

It’s not cradle-cap as you’ve had that already. It’s unlikely to be as a result of dry skin and doubtfully anything to do with an infection as we’ve combed your entire head for other signs of that, pun intended. The only plausible answer is teething. That makes sense. We haven’t really given you any new foods lately.

Ten

Posted on June 3, 2023June 4, 2023 by Kilian Ateh

– 7:29 pm

You’re going to be ten months old tomorrow. Ten. It’s been ten months already. Christ! Congratulations sir. Doughnuts are in order.

I noticed your scalp was dry and just spent a fair bit of time oiling it. The pulling and scratching have stopped however.

It’s incredible how tall you are. You’re surprisingly quite lean too. I expected you to be much chubbier. Come to think of it, you don’t eat much for someone who is this active.

A week ago, you took your first few steps when we were home alone. Your mother and Babushka were out shopping while Valerie was recovering from the night before. I have some shaky footage trying to capture the whole thing. Liza has it on Whatsapp but it’s very likely it won’t exist by the time you read this. Nevertheless, you’ve since taken bigger steps in that direction, pun intended. You’re scared of falling so you feel the need to grab onto something or someone as a precaution. What we do is give you a floppy hand for you to feel as though you’re being held but really, you’re walking by yourself, barely aided. This was Julia’s idea. It won’t be long before you’re running around trashing the place. We’re ~~not~~ looking forward to that. The average baby starts walking at around 14 months according to Johnsons.

Inquisitive as ever.

There have been accidents during your expeditions, discovering new parts of the house. On one occasion, you slipped, fell and bumped your head on the kitchen bench. The frozen peas I put on it probably prevented any swelling. The cry was heart-wrenching though. Same thing when you trapped your hand in the washing machine. You were with Liza on both occasions. And I don’t say that to suggest she wasn’t watching over you. In fact, it’s impossible to keep an eye on your 24/7 given how quickly you move about and how sharp your reflexes are. I told your mother to expect many more falls and tears. Some might even require a hospital. Hopefully not but I’m trying to mentally prepare her for the worst.

Sleeping through the night

Posted on June 14, 2023August 29, 2023 by Kilian Ateh

– 11:08 am

Your mother took you to Frankfurt for four days last Friday… by herself. Just the two of you, travelling solo. I can just about manage dropping you off at your grandparents’, a three-minute walk away. So the thought of packing half the house, taking you through airport security, onto a plane, anticipating your every need or mood and catering for it in advance is exhausting just writing it down. I could use a brown paper bag just now.

But maybe the mindset is different for a mother. The planner that I am, I’m pretty sure if I had to do this and had every item on my list checked off, I’d be settled. I imagine that’s how Liza approached this as well. Besides, if history is anything to go by, you were effortless when we flew for the first time.

Nevertheless, I was still slightly anxious (for Liza) when I waved you goodbye at the gates. There’s just no knowing what to expect. I wasn’t worried, however, more like, “Fuck me, she’s brave!”

But all went well. You were, again, the perfect travel companion, adult-like. Your mother reports having a terrific time with you throughout her stay. Your expression in the pictures aligns with that sentiment, laughing (and drooling) in your wife-beater vest (as it was thirty degrees plus) the entire time. You didn’t look like you wanted to come back.

This trip (to visit her childhood friend Olya who has a four-year-old daughter Renata) had been on the books for a hot minute. The ticket had to be amended the last time because Olya was unwell. As I understand it, Liza and Olya have been inseparable since their teens. So it was always just a matter of when.

Thank God for the trip though. You slept through the night from the day you landed in Germany. We immediately assumed jet lag and tiredness from the journey. But then you did the same thing the following night, sleeping from ten to six. And again the night after. So we got curious. Without consulting each other, Valerie and I asked Liza to highlight any visible differences between your surroundings in Germany versus the ones here. She reported “white noise” – racist – and “my time with him is a lot calmer”.

I’ve dispelled the white noise theory since you got back home. You’re still sleeping through the night in the same conditions. Last night and the one before, you went to bed around ten, and it was about five am when your mother brought you down to me. I fed you to sleep, and you didn’t wake up til after nine.

Getting your baby to sleep through the night

The only changes we’ve made so far are putting you to bed two hours later and altering your diet. Your mother did some research (which her friend Maria from the NCT group confirmed) suggesting Hipp 2 might be giving you constipation. So we’ve since gone back a step, and yesterday, your grandparents had you on a vegetarian diet to test whether meat was a factor in your sleeping patterns. If you don’t sleep enough when we re-introduce it, then perhaps that theory has some legs.

For now, my take on this is pretty simple. We just have to put you to bed a couple of hours later. The extra hours running around is compounding. It takes its toll, beating you down into exhaustion. The only way to recover is to sleep.

In the pool for the first time

Posted on June 16, 2023June 16, 2023 by Kilian Ateh

– 10:40 am

I wondered in my sleep if I told you your mother and I took you swimming. Checking the blog this morning, I realised I didn’t. That was June 4, at ten months old.

Preparing for it, Liza went through a checklist similar to this.

You had your usual demeanour, 50/50, not smiling but not crying. You simply went with the flow (pun intended).

At one point, I put you on a kickboard and surfed you around. You weren’t screaming with joy but I think you enjoyed it. You also seemed very comfortable in water. That’s your mother’s genes coming to the forefront. I’m only learning to swim now.

In other news, you are… walking. We’ve had to clear a bunch of kitchen stuff off the lower shelves because it’s impossible to keep you away now. My friend Wez is coming round at midday to install some doors on those same shelves. Somehow I don’t feel like this is the last tweak we’re going to make around the house. Sigh.

Also, ha, you’re back to not sleeping through the night. I’m smiling as I write this. I find it hilarious. It’s exactly how I would toy with my ~~captors~~ parents if I were you. I’d have them on their toes every step of the way, keeping them guessing and wracking their brains for answers and solutions ~~to things they should just accept and allow to happen~~.

So we’re back to the drawing board, theorising about why that is. Liza mentioned introducing background noise. She said it was extremely noisy in Germany, pretty much the entire night. So I guess we’ll blast some road noise on the speaker tonight while you sleep.

There’s a “gym” for babies which we’d recommended your grandad takes you to. He never did because the hours they kept were always around your nap time. I’ve asked you should be woken up regardless and forced to “exercise” and let off some steam. That should wear you out even more. You still have way too much energy at ten pm. You also won’t be napping after six, forget it.

The day today

Posted on July 15, 2023July 15, 2023 by Kilian Ateh

– 12:34 pm

We should be in the air right now towards LAX. But BA had other plans for us. SMH. Just as I was about to check us in yesterday, I found out today’s flight had been cancelled. Just like that. I’m sure it wasn’t an easy business decision, but nevertheless, it’s still total bullshit. We’ve just lost a couple of days from our holiday.

It’s been a logistical nightmare trying to get everything back on track. I was on the phone with them forever trying to find a better flight itinerary to the nonsense they suggested as an alternative. I mean, who’s traveling long haul with a four hour layover baby in hand? Not us that’s who!

Your mother rescheduled with the taxi to the airport and I updated Manu on the other side when we land. It’s all good now. We’ll fly out Monday, fingerscrossed.

Perhaps it’s all a blessing in disguise. In the last few days, you’ve had a bit of diarrhea. We don’t know why. You’re just about recovering from it and we’re keeping an even closer eye on you. So maybe a few days repose isn’t such a bad thing. You don’t seem bothered by it though. Your aura is the same – charging towards anything and everything, laughing the entire way.

Also, your grandparents went to Riga for a fortnight earlier this week. They are there to manage some renovations happening to the flat over there. So it’s just been your mother and I full time. We got Valentina to babysit but you were all tears for the entirety of her stay. In all, we were too shattered to finish packing last night to make today’s flight.

Liza’s upstairs, you’re in the playpen next to me dozing off. I’m probably going to hit the pool for a swim.

Oh yeah, we went to Whitstable when you turned eleven months. We had oysters and overpriced seafood. It was a fab day. You got to kick rocks on the stony beach with your grandparents. My dad sent his love on the day, like clockwork. We currently don’t have any plans for when you turn one but it won’t be anything grandiose. You won’t remember it.