High roller

Posted on April 23, 2023April 23, 2023 by Kilian Ateh

– 8:19 pm

You’re currently at your grandparent’s down the road. Tonight marks the first time you’ve spent the night there in over a week. Your grandmother Julia has been bedridden since her injury. She picked you up wrong and has been in pain ever since.

First, we tried a few sessions with Bruno which didn’t help. In fact, things got much worse pretty quickly. She has a cyst in her spine which twisted to sit on a nerve when she picked you up. A few days later, post-physio with Bruno, Valerie took her into A&E. She was given some meds and an MRI scheduled. She had it on Friday I believe so we’re just waiting for someone to tell us what it all means. In parallel, we’ll look for private ~~doctors specialising in spine issues~~ orthopedists. There’s a bottomless list your grandad will sieve through. We’ll reach out as a backup while we wait on the NHS, who have been great so far.

You’re so big now. Sitting up, happy to entertain yourself with your toys, talking away… This in particular makes me very happy. So far, you’re not this super attention-seeking child. Earlier this evening when I put you on the floor, you were happy just rolling around, picking things up along the way. You only ‘reached out’ when you were hungry. After the bottle, you were happy back on the floor going about your business. Class. I love that.

We have to be very careful now leaving you on high surfaces, even for a split second, especially when changing your diaper. You can sit up from a ~~back-lying~~ supine position. And you’re strong enough to resist any form of clothing. Your mother now dresses you on the bed. I tend to trick you with distractions until you are fully clothed. But much sooner than later, we’ll all be doing it on the floor. You can’t fall off that. I have nightmares about taking you to A&E. I’ve played out multiple reasons we’ve had to take you in. Not fun.

You are also a great eater now. Solids I mean. You open wide when a spoon is approaching. Your mother gives me the credit for that. I was persistent in tricking you to eat and it’s somehow become a habit. So now we get to see your lower front two teeth and the upper two shooting out effortlessly. Yesterday, she spent the evening making you Michelin-grade food which has been carefully partitioned and frozen, one for each day. The recipes are pretty fucking good. I would eat that. Totally. So I’m not a teeny bit surprised at your attitude to food. It’s all so super healthy as well, as you can imagine. It’s Liza we’re talking about. Not that you’d eaten anything less on my watch.

Unsurprisingly, you’re getting into books. That’s not from me. And it’s definitely not my doing, nor is it my influence. That’s your mother’s side. You have a teacher for a grandmother and a book lover for a mother.

This house would burn down in record time if there was ever a fire. That’s how many books we have, in every. single. corner.

It’s 9:01 pm. I’m going to listen to some of the music we mixed on Friday. Liza’s taking a bath upstairs. She just came back from Rozalia’s hen do. We might start a new TV show later (even though it’s most likely she’ll probably just go to bed and read a book to sleep).

The circus

Posted on May 1, 2023May 1, 2023 by Kilian Ateh

– 11:38 am

We’ve had to buy you a playpen. You’re impossible to keep up with now, especially if we have to multitask, which we do. You’re rolling around, ~~crawling~~ creeping at F1 speeds, grabbing and throwing, switching off the heater, pulling stools and cables, dragging baskets… Fucking hell! And you’re not even nine months. So yeah, a playpen. At least so we know where you are between the seconds that go by.

It’s all good fun though. It encourages you to (pull yourself up and) walk. And you love walking. You seem to love it, granted it’s only been a day. But so far, so good. We’re also making a point of not having you in there if you’re having one of your hissy fits. I think this article echoes the same sentiment. It needs to be a happy circus for you.

By the way, I was at football when this arrived yesterday. Your grandad put it together. So it’s him you’ll have to thank for this. Your mother is taking you to meet him shortly for coffee (and to present his way overdue birthday present). She’s upstairs dressing you I believe. I also packed him some leftover ribs from last night. He’ll love it.

Surprise surprise, you’ve outgrown a bunch of your clothes again, in record time. Your mother’s been doing the rounds shopping for outfits. A cap was added to your wardrobe this time. A yellow one. Looks cool. The car seat’s also too small now. So we’ve just bought something else your mother found, which should apparently last for as long as you need one. We’ll see. It’s due tomorrow.

Your grandmother is feeling a lot better. She cooked for the first time in forever yesterday. Valerie took her to the orthopedist as planned. In scenarios like hers, surgeries are ill-advised and not always successful. So the doctor also prescribed meds and physio. We’re back to Bruno basically. Only this time, he’ll have a guide of dos and don’ts from the doctor.

Speaking of Bruno, you seem to not like him very much. It’s tears between you two. Strange. Perhaps it’s the beard. You can imagine how your mother feels about it all. Bruno’s been invaluable to us and she’d very much like for you to get on with him. So would I to be honest. To that, you’re going to attend all her sessions. You just need to see him more often. And hopefully, he’ll just be another guy you’re cool with. You had the same broken relationship with your grandad when they just got here. It upset him very much.

Ah, you have this thing you do… It’s like you’re playing drums, without the sticks or the drums. Air drumming basically, nodding and shaking your head rhythmically, and clapping. You get so happy doing it. It’s as if you’re listening to something we can’t hear. I have no words to describe it. But I do have a video…

What else… Uhm, you’re not skipping meals, we’re still taking shifts with you at night, you’re still happy, chirpy and laughing 99.999% of the time and we have no complaints or expectations of you. You are what you are. The end.

Here we go…

Posted on May 14, 2023May 14, 2023 by Kilian Ateh

– 1:20 pm

Yesterday, out of nowhere, your mother and I noticed you crawling, consistently. I mean it’s hardly out of the blue but previously, you’d start on fours and quickly go into Saving Private Ryan mode, creeping on your belly. So it was rather unexpected. It seems to be a theme though. You start doing new things without warning.

We’re displacing furniture around the house to compensate for how quickly you throw stools on yourself. Well done you. As expected, you’ve become very adventurous, much faster than your friends. But it’s all good. I’m constantly assessing your immediate surroundings to prevent serious injury and happy to let you fall if I’m satisfied you won’t hurt yourself. Liza and I won’t always be there to catch you on your way down. So I’m just preparing you for life.

That said, I’ve also noticed you’re quite good at falling. You don’t just drop like a log of wood. You use your core and hands to brace and catch yourself. It’s rather impressive and I imagine all babies do this. It must be innate.

Monday of the coronation weekend was declared a bank holiday. Your mother planned a trip to Somerset, the land of cider (which I didn’t know until then). I was the designated driver. We stayed at N^o 1 Bruton which was lovely. Our room had a travel cot which you wouldn’t stop running around in, laughing, pulling faces and blabbing. We have no idea why you love this thing. But we bought one from Amazon and installed it at your grandparents. It’s relatively inexpensive and has a very high rating. It’s a win-win for all.

Our stay was predominantly wet but some of the grounds we visited were heavenly and breathtaking. For the most part, I thought we were abroad. The Newt was unbelievable. I can’t imagine what it requires in upkeep. It really is Eden if one exists. You were your usual self but I’m sure you appreciated the clean fresh air. It’s noticeably different.

Lately, you’ve been vigorously scratching your head when you sleep. So forcefully that you wake yourself up. And we know what comes after that… It’s a puzzle we can’t solve. Google isn’t giving me any answers. It doesn’t seem related to teething or the usual symptoms. My initial theory was perhaps you were like me with super sensitive skin, hair (and sleep). If I don’t wash my hair in more than a day, it itches, badly. So much so that I have to wet it. But I have since dismissed that theory because last night I gave you a bath and washed your hair with some fancy shampoo your mother bought. That didn’t help and you were at it all night, pulling and pulling.

The first time I noticed you scratching, we noticed you had a dry scalp. But we washed all that away and regularly oil your head. No change though. We’re hoping it’ll stop just about as quickly as it started. We have no other solutions (though I just thought of asking ChatGPT what it could be).

You’re currently out with your mother and Rozalia somewhere in London. I’m going to catch some sun myself.

This is a picture I took at The Old Pharmacy in Bruton where we had a sumptuous meal.

PS – Here’s what ChatGPT had to say about your hair scratching…

There are several possible reasons why a nine-month-old baby may keep scratching their hair. Here are some of the most common causes:

Dry skin: Dry skin can be itchy and uncomfortable, especially on the scalp. If your baby’s scalp is dry, they may scratch it to try to relieve the itchiness.
Cradle cap: Cradle cap is a common condition that affects many babies. It causes a flaky, scaly rash on the scalp, which can be itchy. If your baby has cradle cap, they may scratch their head to try to relieve the itchiness.
Teething: Teething can cause discomfort and irritability in babies. Some babies may rub or scratch their head as a way to soothe themselves during this uncomfortable time.
Allergies: Babies can develop allergies to a wide range of things, including food, pet dander, and environmental allergens. If your baby is scratching their head a lot, it could be a sign of an allergic reaction.
Infection: In rare cases, a baby may scratch their head due to an infection, such as a fungal infection or lice infestation.

If your baby is scratching their head frequently, it’s a good idea to have them evaluated by a paediatrician. The doctor can help determine the underlying cause of the scratching and recommend appropriate treatment.

It’s not cradle-cap as you’ve had that already. It’s unlikely to be as a result of dry skin and doubtfully anything to do with an infection as we’ve combed your entire head for other signs of that, pun intended. The only plausible answer is teething. That makes sense. We haven’t really given you any new foods lately.

Ten

Posted on June 3, 2023June 4, 2023 by Kilian Ateh

– 7:29 pm

You’re going to be ten months old tomorrow. Ten. It’s been ten months already. Christ! Congratulations sir. Doughnuts are in order.

I noticed your scalp was dry and just spent a fair bit of time oiling it. The pulling and scratching have stopped however.

It’s incredible how tall you are. You’re surprisingly quite lean too. I expected you to be much chubbier. Come to think of it, you don’t eat much for someone who is this active.

A week ago, you took your first few steps when we were home alone. Your mother and Babushka were out shopping while Valerie was recovering from the night before. I have some shaky footage trying to capture the whole thing. Liza has it on Whatsapp but it’s very likely it won’t exist by the time you read this. Nevertheless, you’ve since taken bigger steps in that direction, pun intended. You’re scared of falling so you feel the need to grab onto something or someone as a precaution. What we do is give you a floppy hand for you to feel as though you’re being held but really, you’re walking by yourself, barely aided. This was Julia’s idea. It won’t be long before you’re running around trashing the place. We’re ~~not~~ looking forward to that. The average baby starts walking at around 14 months according to Johnsons.

Inquisitive as ever.

There have been accidents during your expeditions, discovering new parts of the house. On one occasion, you slipped, fell and bumped your head on the kitchen bench. The frozen peas I put on it probably prevented any swelling. The cry was heart-wrenching though. Same thing when you trapped your hand in the washing machine. You were with Liza on both occasions. And I don’t say that to suggest she wasn’t watching over you. In fact, it’s impossible to keep an eye on your 24/7 given how quickly you move about and how sharp your reflexes are. I told your mother to expect many more falls and tears. Some might even require a hospital. Hopefully not but I’m trying to mentally prepare her for the worst.

Sleeping through the night

Posted on June 14, 2023August 29, 2023 by Kilian Ateh

– 11:08 am

Your mother took you to Frankfurt for four days last Friday… by herself. Just the two of you, travelling solo. I can just about manage dropping you off at your grandparents’, a three-minute walk away. So the thought of packing half the house, taking you through airport security, onto a plane, anticipating your every need or mood and catering for it in advance is exhausting just writing it down. I could use a brown paper bag just now.

But maybe the mindset is different for a mother. The planner that I am, I’m pretty sure if I had to do this and had every item on my list checked off, I’d be settled. I imagine that’s how Liza approached this as well. Besides, if history is anything to go by, you were effortless when we flew for the first time.

Nevertheless, I was still slightly anxious (for Liza) when I waved you goodbye at the gates. There’s just no knowing what to expect. I wasn’t worried, however, more like, “Fuck me, she’s brave!”

But all went well. You were, again, the perfect travel companion, adult-like. Your mother reports having a terrific time with you throughout her stay. Your expression in the pictures aligns with that sentiment, laughing (and drooling) in your wife-beater vest (as it was thirty degrees plus) the entire time. You didn’t look like you wanted to come back.

This trip (to visit her childhood friend Olya who has a four-year-old daughter Renata) had been on the books for a hot minute. The ticket had to be amended the last time because Olya was unwell. As I understand it, Liza and Olya have been inseparable since their teens. So it was always just a matter of when.

Thank God for the trip though. You slept through the night from the day you landed in Germany. We immediately assumed jet lag and tiredness from the journey. But then you did the same thing the following night, sleeping from ten to six. And again the night after. So we got curious. Without consulting each other, Valerie and I asked Liza to highlight any visible differences between your surroundings in Germany versus the ones here. She reported “white noise” – racist – and “my time with him is a lot calmer”.

I’ve dispelled the white noise theory since you got back home. You’re still sleeping through the night in the same conditions. Last night and the one before, you went to bed around ten, and it was about five am when your mother brought you down to me. I fed you to sleep, and you didn’t wake up til after nine.

Getting your baby to sleep through the night

The only changes we’ve made so far are putting you to bed two hours later and altering your diet. Your mother did some research (which her friend Maria from the NCT group confirmed) suggesting Hipp 2 might be giving you constipation. So we’ve since gone back a step, and yesterday, your grandparents had you on a vegetarian diet to test whether meat was a factor in your sleeping patterns. If you don’t sleep enough when we re-introduce it, then perhaps that theory has some legs.

For now, my take on this is pretty simple. We just have to put you to bed a couple of hours later. The extra hours running around is compounding. It takes its toll, beating you down into exhaustion. The only way to recover is to sleep.

In the pool for the first time

Posted on June 16, 2023June 16, 2023 by Kilian Ateh

– 10:40 am

I wondered in my sleep if I told you your mother and I took you swimming. Checking the blog this morning, I realised I didn’t. That was June 4, at ten months old.

Preparing for it, Liza went through a checklist similar to this.

You had your usual demeanour, 50/50, not smiling but not crying. You simply went with the flow (pun intended).

At one point, I put you on a kickboard and surfed you around. You weren’t screaming with joy but I think you enjoyed it. You also seemed very comfortable in water. That’s your mother’s genes coming to the forefront. I’m only learning to swim now.

In other news, you are… walking. We’ve had to clear a bunch of kitchen stuff off the lower shelves because it’s impossible to keep you away now. My friend Wez is coming round at midday to install some doors on those same shelves. Somehow I don’t feel like this is the last tweak we’re going to make around the house. Sigh.

Also, ha, you’re back to not sleeping through the night. I’m smiling as I write this. I find it hilarious. It’s exactly how I would toy with my ~~captors~~ parents if I were you. I’d have them on their toes every step of the way, keeping them guessing and wracking their brains for answers and solutions ~~to things they should just accept and allow to happen~~.

So we’re back to the drawing board, theorising about why that is. Liza mentioned introducing background noise. She said it was extremely noisy in Germany, pretty much the entire night. So I guess we’ll blast some road noise on the speaker tonight while you sleep.

There’s a “gym” for babies which we’d recommended your grandad takes you to. He never did because the hours they kept were always around your nap time. I’ve asked you should be woken up regardless and forced to “exercise” and let off some steam. That should wear you out even more. You still have way too much energy at ten pm. You also won’t be napping after six, forget it.

The day today

Posted on July 15, 2023July 15, 2023 by Kilian Ateh

– 12:34 pm

We should be in the air right now towards LAX. But BA had other plans for us. SMH. Just as I was about to check us in yesterday, I found out today’s flight had been cancelled. Just like that. I’m sure it wasn’t an easy business decision, but nevertheless, it’s still total bullshit. We’ve just lost a couple of days from our holiday.

It’s been a logistical nightmare trying to get everything back on track. I was on the phone with them forever trying to find a better flight itinerary to the nonsense they suggested as an alternative. I mean, who’s traveling long haul with a four hour layover baby in hand? Not us that’s who!

Your mother rescheduled with the taxi to the airport and I updated Manu on the other side when we land. It’s all good now. We’ll fly out Monday, fingerscrossed.

Perhaps it’s all a blessing in disguise. In the last few days, you’ve had a bit of diarrhea. We don’t know why. You’re just about recovering from it and we’re keeping an even closer eye on you. So maybe a few days repose isn’t such a bad thing. You don’t seem bothered by it though. Your aura is the same – charging towards anything and everything, laughing the entire way.

Also, your grandparents went to Riga for a fortnight earlier this week. They are there to manage some renovations happening to the flat over there. So it’s just been your mother and I full time. We got Valentina to babysit but you were all tears for the entirety of her stay. In all, we were too shattered to finish packing last night to make today’s flight.

Liza’s upstairs, you’re in the playpen next to me dozing off. I’m probably going to hit the pool for a swim.

Oh yeah, we went to Whitstable when you turned eleven months. We had oysters and overpriced seafood. It was a fab day. You got to kick rocks on the stony beach with your grandparents. My dad sent his love on the day, like clockwork. We currently don’t have any plans for when you turn one but it won’t be anything grandiose. You won’t remember it.

Good morning America

Posted on August 3, 2023August 6, 2023 by Kilian Ateh

– 10:02 am

We came back from Cali a few days ago. What a blast we had. It was beautifully hot and you got to meet and hang out with your Uncles Manu and Junior for the first time IRL. Two weeks flew by like no tomorrow, like an unwatched sunset. Thankfully we got to catch a few. (This bit was written by TextFX. It’s an incredible tool.)

I don’t have many myself, but between Liza, Manu, Junior, and his wife Priscilla, there are quite a few pictures. Your mother is going to create a folder for everyone to contribute to. I’ll share some on here when that goes live. It’ll be way better than trying to recount everything that happened from (fading) memory. So until then, all you have is this one I took and love.

I must say you handled your first long-haul flight extremely well. We’re very proud and lucky to have you as such a graceful travel companion. You’re very much still a child but you can be so grown up at times. That said, your mother did heavily prepare for it – new books, toys, a foldable Chicco chair and tray etc. This is not to take anything away from your angel-like attitude though.

I am also flummoxed – this is a new word I learned – by how physically big you are. You’re reaching up at shelves now, pulling and tossing out bits. We have to buy some IKEA doors for the cabinets as a result. It’s just a matter of time before I have to rethink my desk setup. This hippie, out in the open layout we have is not going to cut it for much longer. You are way too fast and way too curious. There’s just so much vim – another new word I picked up from Succession – about everything you do.

Your behaviour is also rapidly evolving. There’s this maddening thing you do now which we are trying to stamp out. When we take something away from you (obviously for your good), the black in you comes out and you start stumping your feet, screaming and shouting bloody murder. You start crying at the top of your lungs as if you’ve been brutalised. We have no idea where this comes from. But this has been ongoing since America and worsened when we got back. As if that isn’t absurd enough, you take it further by throwing yourself to the ground.

I actually find it unsympathetically hilarious. And I’ve got news for you, sir. That shit won’t fly in this house. You have no idea. If I were you, I’d stop immediately, pronto. There’s just no scenario where we let you get away with such nonsense. And to be fair, we’re (or at least I’m) expecting you to express traits like these we have to correct. This is just the first (of many). So it’s no biggie. We’ll just deal with it accordingly and as they surface. The last time you threw one of these tantrums, I took you to the bathroom and we had a chat in front of the mirror. We had a long discussion and I told you why that was poor and why we don’t behave this way. That was a day ago. You spent the night at The Retreat and I haven’t seen you since.

We’ve agreed the right approach is to let you calm yourself down, the same way you cried yourself up, unaided. I’m happy to let you sit there or kick rocks. For as long as is necessary. We won’t reinforce this way of acting by giving you whatever we took away. No no no. You’ll remain without it and when you’re ready to be reasonable, we’ll hug it out.

Both houses, Alpha Road and The Retreat are in cahoots about this treatment. Your mother and I are aligned on this. We have to be consistent with it otherwise you’ll start getting special treatment from us or your grandparents, and vice versa. Liza thinks you’re suffering from jetlag. Perhaps. But I’m not so sure. Either way, this has to and is going to stop. One way or the other. You’re not going to always have it your way in life. That’s today’s teaching.

We’re also rethinking your toys. You have too many. Right now, an Amazon delivery of even more toys has been made to The Retreat. I think your grandparents are getting a bit carried away. A triage needs to happen. I found this article which we’ll follow.

Fuck, is that the time!? I should go. I got a new job with plenty to do.

PS – It’s your birthday tomorrow…

My Dear Little Man

Category: 3 to 12 Months