– 12:07 pm

Historically, I’d speed talk at you as a deterrent from something I didn’t want you doing. I’d come down to your level and vomit a lot of (meaningless) phrases, spoken quickly enough to overwhelm and distract. And that usually did the trick. Lately, not so much. It’s like you’re retaining and reasoning, and trying to influence the dialogue, chiming in at times. I can also see on your face, what I’m saying makes no sense. I talk, and it’s like you’re going, “That’s horse shit”. Not verbatim but the gestures and utterances couldn’t be clearer.

Supposedly, reasoning in kids doesn’t start till the age of three. Your second birthday is in August. Now, I’m not saying you have a complete grasp of everything we tell you or can host a four-hour podcast. Communication is a life-long evolving skill many adults will never master. Your source pool of words is nowhere near as expansive and constantly swinging between Russian and English is hardly the park walk. However what I will say is, if I promise you a plum when we get home to remove you from an incident, you ask for it when we’re back at the house. That means I can’t bullshit you any more. There is accountability now. My tactics have to meet the current status quo. You’re a lot smarter.

In other news, your mother took you to Frankfurt again to see Olya. It’s a yearly ritual now and I imagine last year was a completely different vibe. You’ve changed quite a bit since then. Sounds like you had a blast though, unsurprisingly.

Speaking of customs, you and I have one too. Your grandad drops you off at ours around six every workday. So I’ve made a point of taking you for a walk on the balance bike when he does. We’ve been at it for a couple of months now. In the early days, there was a lot of hoopla just getting the helmet on. You can’t even keep a hat on (and we still haven’t replaced the one you threw away in Greece). But with a lot of persuading and demoing, I’ve managed to get you to associate the bike with the helmet. That both always go together. Every time we went out, I pointed out every cyclist or motorist wearing a helmet going, “Look, helmet”. I did this consistently especially if they were other kids. This is how I got you to think it was something ‘cool’ and worth copying.

The bike itself took some getting used to. We did practice runs indoors to start with, in a controlled environment where I (or the carpet) could catch you if you fell. Simultaneously, you could learn how it worked while improving your balance and motor skills. I didn’t want you to see the bike as something that brought you pain i.e., from falling over constantly. I figured you just needed to build your confidence. We did that repeatedly and now you’re a pro BMX rider. At least you think you are. I just need you to assess risk a bit better. You currently think slopes and hills are your friends. Mate, until you learn brakes, they aren’t. I’m trying to prevent you from learning this the hard way.