– 10:45 am

Southborough lost another cup final last night. That’s the third one I’ve lost now. Played three, and lost three. I didn’t even collect the runners-up medal. We played a lot better though and I can live with losing the way we did.

To make matters worse, however, one of our teammates broke his ankle around the 85th minute, falling over from a shove in the back on the byline. The ambulance quoted two hours arrival time. That came down to twenty mins when we lied saying, “he has a head injury, stay with me Jimmie…”
We lost the game chasing it in injury time. Double blow. FML.

He’s been sending us pics from the hospital. The one this morning shows him still kitted, bloodied shirt from a gash on his forehead (sustained during the same game). He’s a warrior.

I left almost immediately after the game. When I finished my first meal of the day, it was about 12:55 am, after fasting for over 26 hours. I had the worse muscle cramp in my sleep. I’ve had many but this one was painful, very fucking painful.

Liza’s currently in Portugal with Rozalia. She literally just messaged me as I’m typing. I’m picking her up from the airport late this evening. How much do you want to bet it might be a subtle reminder? Let’s see… Hahaha! Here goes her message…

I won’t be leaving the house until then. Given we have our final game tomorrow and have to win to get promoted from our current division, I’m going to do my best to recover. Every muscle in my body currently hurts so I’ll throw in a sports bath somewhere along the day. If I can.

Hopefully, when you look around the house, you’ll stumble across some of my awards. Football has given me smiles, plenty of them, a social network, and kept me in shape. I don’t like gyms so it’s been a way more pleasant and cost-effective substitute. I was fortunate enough to be exposed to alternatives at boarding school while in Cameroon. The same school my dad went to, Sacred Heart College in Mankon, Bamenda.

I didn’t (and still don’t) have the wrists for tennis but I like ping-pong, and your mum and I get stuck in when we find a table. She’s quite good, and it’s a bucket of fun playing with her. I tried basketball and never returned after spraining a finger. Plus, I wasn’t tall let alone the tallest. But I was always known for being a good footballer. I love the game. Coming up against different opponents, the physical and mental challenges, the memories… It’s a great buzz.

When I was between 11 and 13, playing for a local club in Douala and killing that left flank, I got scouted. Some men showed up at my mum’s petit shop, (which still stands today) asking if I could be taken into a club and given training, coaching and opportunity. I am paraphrasing based on how she played it back to me. She said no. In her mind (and the minds of many parents from her generation), her sons would be doctors, lawyers or persons with “real professions”.

I always wondered what my life would be if she’d said yes instead. And no, I wouldn’t trade my life today for anything else. It’s always just a passing thought. The greatest gift your grandmother ever gave us, something I’d like to instil in you, was the ability to look around. There are opportunities everywhere. The last time I visited, I bought her a deep freezer. She was selling ice to the community the next day. That’s who Regina Bih Ngwa was. Someone who looked around.

“People in our neighbourhood don’t have ice”, is what she said to me. And just like that, she started a side business and turned a liability into an asset. This is without knowing the meaning of either “liability” or “asset”. Before long, people were knocking on our doors asking for ice. I only wanted to prevent the household from throwing food away, to preserve instead for a rainy day. She was looking beyond that.

During the pandemic, she and Lyn were sewing face masks and selling them. They couldn’t even keep up with the orders. And there are several examples throughout her life, from early childhood, farming with her mother and selling the produce at markets.

This mentality runs in our blood, your blood. All of us kids who spent time with her inherited this approach. So from Judex, Manu, Lyn, Junior, or Carl. We’re just updates for the new world, V2s. I heard Judex say, “Look around, if there’s no bread in your community, you should think about opening a bakery. Just because you are a Lawyer doesn’t mean you can’t own a bakery. I am a businessman”. His day job is what a hammer is to a carpenter. A tool that lets him build things. Same applies to the rest of us. She did her ultimate best (with very little) to sharpen our tools and prepare us for life. And my word did she do an outstanding job!

I continue to find it extremely onerous dealing with my mother’s passing. It’s so difficult, impossible to do without being completely engulfed by saddnes and dolour. She was everything to me, and to us. I just need to take a moment…

Likewise, I hope to instill this mindset in you, from as early as possible. You can be many things, many labels. No single attribute should describe you wholly. So don’t be afraid of wearing many hats. Wear the one that fits the situation. And wear it with panache and integrity. You are a man human, a builder of things.

So my promise to you is this, if you pick up an instrument, I’ll try to get you into music school. Your favourite toys will be the basis for things to expose you to. The freest you can be is to live off your passions. And I want you to be free. Truly free. No bigger goal can be achieved in life.

I didn’t plan for what this post has become. But so is life. It’s a journey and sometimes it will take you places you weren’t planning to go. When that happens, embrace it and be fluid, always looking around the entire time. Your mother will tell you that I’m a massive planner. Things without plans are dreams. And dreams aren’t real. To realise them, there must be a system in place to support them. At the same time, however, I try my utmost best to be adaptive with my plans. You’ll need to find that balance.

Alright, I better wrap this up. What I actually wanted to say will go into the next post.