– 10:45 am

When your mother cries, I wonder if it affects your mood and development. I imagine it does. And not in a good way. So I try to keep her smiling, for as long as possible, by any means necessary. My silliness has been amplified of late. And thankfully, she’s so far had a happy pregnancy. Happy mother, happy baby. That’s my unqualified theory anyway. This article seems to suggest the same though. There have been times when her hormones come to power like an African coup d’etat and she almost always finds herself in tears. No one (including herself) can do anything about those, unfortunately.

I left Douala for London via Brussels. A couple of hours into the flight, a passenger fell gravely ill. I could hear him groan in pain and woke up to see an IV hanging from the overhead luggage compartment where they’d moved him to.

Among the concerned red dresses pacing up and down was a lady who said she was a friend of the family. I’d had three glasses of champagne at this point (on your mother’s suggestion so I could sleep. I actually hate champagne. It’s the closest thing to piss in taste). I recalled thinking, “there’s not much you can do to assist here”. So powerless in the situation, I selfishly went back to sleep.

Not long after, I heard an announcement we were making an emergency stop in Algeria to seek medical assistance. Looking out the window, I saw two people wearing the type of outfits you see in movies when trying to contain an airborne viral disease. Like a hazmat suit. They were gas masks away from being ready to deal with an alien invasion.

We were stationary. Further announcements requesting “passengers who could speak Arabic to please come forward” half woke me up. To be honest, I was quite pleased with the detour given I had a five-hour layover in Brussels. So I was happy to see it sliced considerably as long as no one had to die for it. But I had no network connection to notify anyone of the detour.

More ground staff came and went. An hourglass went by. Then another. And then some. I was in and out of it and fully out by the time we’d regained the skies.

All the while, Liza was in London struggling to sleep. Around 4 am, she decided to track my flight, which for some reason, she couldn’t find. Fearing the worse, she started making calls. The airline said they had no idea where the plane was. I couldn’t believe they said that when she recounted her version of the timeline. It pissed me the fuck off. It’s literally the worse thing they could tell her. If there was ever a time for a white lie…

They said they had no other information. That could definitely have been better phrased and handled. It’s even worse hearing it in hindsight.

So now your mother can’t sleep. How can she? She’s panicking and jittery. She calls her dad. Pops starts making other calls trying to source better intel. And down go the dominos.

The pilot chimed in to say we were to land in Marseille to re-fuel. We’d also have to get a new flight crew because “legally they couldn’t continue”. (Something to do with the number of hours they’d been working blah blah blah). We’d have to disembark.

We stood on the plane long enough for the aisle to start sitting back down. Then a hostess walked by, almost briskly with unease. She was crying out her eyeballs. I looked back to realise the severity of what the pilot had announced earlier.

Of course! Duh! There were passengers with connecting flights to catch, meetings to make, people to see, gifts to give, plans to fulfil etc. All of which had gone to shits. This anxious and disgruntled mob was having an exothermic reaction from this short stick translated into verbal abuse at the first person who represented the airline. The hostess.

But I’d been rather chilled this whole time. I have a thing about not worrying about situations I have no control over. Unless I was going to get into the cockpit and fly this damned plane myself, any other reaction was uncharacteristic of me. I was at the mercy of external decision-making.

That is not to say people shouldn’t voice displeasure. They should and so do I. Your mother would be losing her wits right now. I always have to ask her, “But what can you do about it?”. And all I mean by it is, “Fuck’em for putting us in this situation. We’ll deal with them later. For now, let’s work our own way out of this mess.” And some type of leverage usually gets you out of the most sticky situations. So whether financial or otherwise, always try to get leverage. It’ll easy your life.

More chaos continued to unravel. The plane got even louder. I checked my boarding pass to London Heathrow to conclude I was just as fucked. Best I let the fam know.

I was typing a message when your mother called. She exploded into tears as I answered. I seldom hear it but I know that cry. I don’t like it. She was very unsettled. I did my utmost to reassure and calm her down.

I assume the police who walked in had been called to deal with the near riot. The entire flight was disembarked to a confined area where I am currently typing this up. There’s another announcement being made, I should listen up.